Lockdown Diaries II, Day 27: Biased

After an inordinate delay, the bus at last turned the corner and pulled up alongside the pavement. A few people got off, a few others got on. I was among the latter. I got shoved onto the platform, the conductor vehemently pulled a noise plug and the vehicle started off again. Whiel I was engaged in tearing out of a little book the number of tickets that the man with the little box was about to obliterate on his stomach, I started to inspect my neighbours…

(Biased from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

And here’s my effort:

Tuesday, 1 December 2020

Thank God! The bloody lockdown is finally over! Well, sort of. But I am declaring it to be over, and never mind the remaining restrictions. The main thing is, as far as I’m concerned, that tomorrow my swimming pool will open again and I don’t care about the rest. Of course, the government – idiots, the lot of them – might yet change their mind and put us back under lock and key again.

But I’ll deal with that when it happens!

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 25: Official Letter

I beg to advise you of the following facts of which I happened to be the equally impartial and horrified witness.

Today, at roughly twelve noon, I was present on the platform of a bus which was proceeding up the rue de Courcelles in the direction of Place Champerret. The aforementioned bus was fully laden – more than fully laden, I might even venture to say, since the conductor had accepted an overload of several candidates without valid reason and actuated by an exaggerated kindness of heart which caused him to exceed the regulations…

(Official Letter from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

And here’s my effort:

Sunday, 29 November 2020

Dear Sir,

I wish to bring to your notice the following facts relating to the – shop selling ethnic food in the neighbourhood of -.

Sir, this shop occupies an extremely small floor space and in accordance with the COVID restrictions currently in place in the said locality, is forced to limit the number of shoppers on the premises. On the 29th of November, this resulted in an exceedingly long queue outside of the aforementioned shop.

I’m happy to inform you that all customers, none of whom were English, queued outside in an exemplary British manner, waiting for their turn without grumbling. I myself witnessed this, being part of said queue for fifteen minutes, with my younger daughter, whose behaviour upon this occasion proved a credit to her upbringing.

In the sincere hope that the COVID restrictions will ease in the very near future, 

Mrs So-and-So

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 24: Visual

The general effect is green with a white roof, oblong, with windows. It isn’t as easy as all that to do with windows. The platform isn’t any colour: it’s half grey, half brown if it must be something. The most important things is it’s full of curves, lots of esses as you might say…

(Visual from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

And here’s my effort:

Saturday, 28 November 2020

From my bed the first thing I see in the morning is the curtains. They are red and the light, even winter light, makes them translucent, making the whole bedroom glow in soft warm red. 

The room I spent most of the day on other hand was anything but softly glowing red. It is a little dark, because the window is partially obscured by the furniture; it’s such a small room that it only has room for one item of furniture, which is a high bed, with the desk and a one-seater sofa fixed underneath and this is straight in front of the window. The sofa is blue as are the curtains.

It was such a grey day outside that I had the desk light on most of the day and in the afternoon, when I curled up with a book on the sofa, I turned on the colourful LED lights that are stringed along under the bed. It cheered the room up a bit.

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 23: Retrograde

You ought to put another button on your overcoat, his friend told him. I came across him in the middle of the Coeur de Rome, after having left him rushing avidly towards a seat. He had just protested against being pushed by another passenger who, he said, was jostling him every time anyone got off…

(Retrograde from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

And here’s my effort:

Friday, 27 November 2020

I had just spent a couple of hours this afternoon tagging family photos in the computer, before I settled down to write today’s diary entry. It took longer than planned because this had been a holiday in Seville at Easter, a few years ago and I got seduced by some of the videos. I remember we got up at 3:30 am on the last day in order to see the procession of Jesús del Gran Poder go by – and the evening before we had been out till late at a flamenco show…

Earlier the postman brought a pushy letter from our health service, telling me – yet again – to protect them by not being ill. Yes, sir! I’ll just snuff it then and trouble the undertaker instead!

Before I got annoyed by the letter, I had spent the morning going through the motions of a boring weekday in lockdown. Yawn. The most interesting event of the morning was, frankly, seeing Young Friend of the Elephants off to school…

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 21: Litotes

A few of us were travelling together. A young man, who didn’t look very intelligent, spoke to the man next to him for a few moments, then he went and sat down. Two hours later I met him again; he was with a friend and was discussing clothing matters.

(Litotes from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, I have to admit that the title of this particular entry by Queneau had me baffled. I always prided myself on my vocabulary, English included, but litotes was not a word I’ve ever came across before and the entry was not giving me any genuine clue (although with hindsight the first sentence is a clue). I had to resort to the dictionary:

litotes, noun
ironic understatement in which an affirmative is expressed by the negative of its contrary (e.g. I shan't be sorry for I shall be glad).

So there you are. And here’s my effort:

Wednesday, 25 November 2020

I wouldn’t call today a boring day… It was positively interesting. Can’t complain, really.

I got up, had breakfast, worked at the computer. For variety on a working day that’s not bad.

The lunch was nothing out of the ordinary: just a creative combination of some leftovers, but quite delicious.   

The weather? Mustn’t grumble. It was positively balmy. You could almost see the sun… if it wasn’t for the thick layer of clouds.

Over to you. 🙂

(In my opinion, this one was surprisingly difficult!)

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 20: Haikai

Summer S
long neck trod on toes
cries and retreat

station button
meeting

(Haikai from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Tuesday, 24 November 2020

Morning light
catching up with friends
sitting outside

afternoon gloom
tea ‘n’ smiles

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 18: Auditory

Quacking and letting off, the S came rasping to a halt alongside the silent pavement. The sun’s trombone flattened the midday note. The pedestrians, bawling bagpipes, shouted one of their numbers…

(Auditory from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Sunday, 22 November 2020

Woke to the loud buzzing of a bumble bee as it kept banging against the window pane behind the curtains. Out on the field behind the house a dog barked. I turned over and put the pillow over my head to drown the noises out but it did not work. I heard the splashing of the shower from the bathroom next door. Then phone pinged: the taxi to pick my sister up to take her to the airport had been allocated. I got up.

In the kitchen the kettle gurgled as the water came to boil. I turned on the coffee grinder, it sounds like a tiny pneumatic drill; suddenly I couldn’t heard a word that was said on the radio.

Then came breakfast: the ticktocking of the toaster, the banging of spoons on the shells of the boiled eggs, the tinkling of knives and forks on the plates. Dumped the plates and cutlery into the sink, and opened the tap; the water splashed over the plates. Then the taxi driver pinged my phone again to let us know he had arrived. 

My sister dragged her suitcase down the stairs, bang-bang, on each step. We said good-bye, she got in the taxi, slammed the door. The car moved off quietly. We shut the front door and put the chain on. It rattled.

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 17: Telegraphic

BUS CROWDED STOP YNG MAN LONG NECK PLAIT ENCIRCLED HAT REPROACHES UNKNOWN PASSENGER NO APPARENT REASON STOP QUERY FINGERS FEET HURT CONTACT HEEL ALLEGED PURPOSELY STOP YNG MAN ABANDONS DISCUSSION FOR VACANT SEAT STOP …

(Telegraphic from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Saturday, 21 November 2020

UP LATE QUICK BREAKFAST STOP PLAYED SCRABBLE WITH SISTER SHE WON STOP LONG LINGERING LUNCH WITH WINE AND NY CHEESECAKE STOP LAZY AFTERNOON PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES STOP WEATHER STINKS BRING CHEESE STOP

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 16: Passive

Midday was struck on the clock. The bus was being got onto by passengers. They were being squashed together. A hat was being worn on the head of a young gentleman, which hat was encircled by a plait and not by a ribbon…

(Passive from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Friday, 20 November 2020

I was woken up late by the ringing of my mobile – I was being called by the nurse who had been told by the doctor to call me. I was asked if I was feeling well and she was told that I was feeling as well as could be expected under the circumstances. 

I was made breakfast by Mr Anglo-Saxonist (a boiled duck egg and soldiers); and all the food was eaten by me. Then the breakfast dishes and crockery were put into the dishwasher, which was run. 

Overtaken by laziness, I spent the next few hours playing SimCity.

After lunch, the Scrabble board was got out and laid on the table and a mind-boggling game of Scrabble developed in Hungarian which was won by my sister…

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 15: Negativities

It was neither a boat nor an aeroplane, but a terrestrial means of transport. It was neither the morning, nor the evening, but midday. It was neither a baby, nor an old man, but a young man…

(Negativities from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Thursday, 19 November 2020

I have slept neither well, nor badly last night. I didn’t get up until late, not at midday though, it was still morning. I had neither coffee, nor hot chocolate with my breakfast; instead I had tea. 

I didn’t go out, not even into the garden but I did look through the window.

At some point, I went into the bedroom of Young Friend of the Elephants, although I really didn’t want to. In there I felt there was a lack of fresh air, so I thought I’d open the window. I didn’t open the small window because I didn’t want to climb up on her bed to access it but opened the big window instead. No warm air came in, only cold. I can’t say I was surprised.

I didn’t have anything urgent to do, so I didn’t do anything. And although it’s still not the evening, I think nothing of interest will happen today, so I’m not going to write anything more…

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 14: Cross-Examination

“At what time did the 12.23 pm. S-line bus proceeding in the direction of the Porte de Champerret arrive on that day?”
“At 12.38 p.m.”
“Were there any people on the aforesaid bus?”
“Bags of ’em.”
“Did you particularly notice any of them?”
An individual who had a very long neck and a plait round his hat.”

(Cross-Examination from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Wednesday, 18 November 2020

“Who was present in the house on that day?”
“Well, we were all there in the morning, obviously.”
“Could you please specify whom do you include under the term ‘all’?”
“Well, my husband Mr Anglo-Saxonist, my younger daughter Young Friend of the Elephants, my sister and myself.”
“Are all of these normally residents of the house?”
“No, only three of us; my sister was visiting.”
“I see. And what happened in the morning of that day?”
“We got up… Young Friend of the Elephants went to school. Mr Anglo-Saxonist travelled to Lancashire for the day. My sister and myself played Scrabble in Hungarian.”
“What were your reasons for playing Scrabble in Hungarian?”
“I wanted to find out if it was easier or harder than in English.”
“And what conclusion did you come to?”
“It’s much harder.”

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 13: Olfactory

We bypassed day 12 of the lockdown diaries yesterday, as it was the day of the weekly quote, and hearing from me once a day I’m sure is more than enough for any of you! 🙂 But now we carry on, still in the style of Raymond Queneau:

In that meridian S, apart from the habitual smell, there was a smell of a beastly seedy ego, of effrontery, of jeering, of H-bombs, of a high jakes, of cakes and ale, of…

(Olfactory from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Tuesday, 17 November 2020

Got up to the smell of freshly baked bread, wafting upstairs from the kitchen. What a marvellous thing it is to have a bread machine! No work involved, you just get the lovely smell waking you every morning! I had breakfast, drank my tea and Mr Ango-Saxonist came down to have his coffee; I have to tell you that tea can’t compete with coffee in the olfactory sense. The smell of coffee triumphed over everything, even the smell of fresh bread.

We cleaned the house today between bouts of work. The dust got up my nose while I was dusting; it has a, you know, a really dusty smell? There’s no better word to describe it. The hoover smells dusty too, I swear. And the smell of bleach was overpowering in our tiny bathroom; it’ll take hours to go away. But the end result is that everything is spick and span and bright and fresh.

But Young Friend of the Elephants is just about to come home from school; we always have tea together. It’s time that I went and put the kettle on and put the cakes on the plates – she baked some fairy cakes on Sunday, and we’re going to finish them off today. I’m leaving you imagining their sweet smell. 

Over to you. 🙂

Writing Challenge:
Just a reminder that you can join in this writing challenge, based on Exercises in Style by French author Raymond Queneau, by writing an entry (post it in the comments section below or, if you prefer, on your own blog and link to my relevant post) using the prompt from Queneau each day.
More information in the original post here:
Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau
Have fun!
Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 11: Hesitation

I don’t really know where it happened… in a church, a dustbin, a charnel house? A bus perhaps? There were… but what were there, though? Eggs, carpets, radishes? Skeletons? Yes, but with their flesh still around them, and alive.

(Hesitation from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Sunday, 15 November 2020

Er… I’m not sure what I did all day long. I got up, that seems likely. And must have had breakfast. Or had I? And what did I do afterwards?… Er…  let me think. Perhaps I worked on my blog. Or not. I might have been doing something else. I definitely did something… didn’t I? But perhaps not. I mean God rested on the seventh day, and this is the seventh day, right? Or actually, is that supposed to be the Saturday, you know, the Sabbath… or what.

Let me just try and remember… Yes, I must have worked on my blog. And then… well… I did something else. Definitely. Something else, right? And later… er… in the afternoon, I’m pretty sure of that at least, that it was afternoon, I mean, we… er…. oh yes, we had high tea. Of course, I could have been just suffering from hallucinations? 

Over to you. 🙂

Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 10: Exclamations!

Goodness! Twelve o’clock! Time for the bus! What a lot of people! What a lot of people! Aren’t we squashed! Bloody funny! That chap! What a face! And what a neck! Two foot long! At least!…

(Exclamations from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Saturday, 14 November 2020

Good heavens! It’s already past 5 o’clock! And I haven’t written my lockdown diary! When I promised people! Bloody hell! How did the time passed this fast?! Oh me! Oh my! How will I even come up with something to write at such short notice?! Impossible! Worse than impossible! 

I wasted my time all day! Well, I hasn’t actually wasted it as such but…! It’s 5 o’clock! And not a word written! And to top it, nothing happened all bloody day!!! There is literally nothing to write about! To hell with this goddamn lockdown!

Over to you. 🙂

Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 9: Double Entry

Towards the middle of the day and at midday I happened to be on and got onto the platform and the balcony at the back of an S-line and  of a Contrescarpe-Champerret bus and passenger-transport vehicle which wsa packed and to all intents and purposes full. I saw and noticed a young man and an old adolescent who was rather ridiculous and pretty grotesque: thin neck and skinny windpipe, string and cord round his hat and headgear…

(Double Entry from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

And here’s my effort:

Friday, 13 November 2020

I woke up and opened my eyes but I was still sleepy and dozy, so I yawned, stretched and rubbed my eyes. Finally I sat up and climbed out of bed to get up and make a start to the day.  

I made myself breakfast which I then ate, eating breakfast being an important part of starting the day. Then I started the computer, that is, I woke it up, and the screen came on so that I could log in. I worked on things and performed various duties all morning. 

I took a break at lunchtime and I rested. I put on my waterproof footwear, that is, my walking boots and went outside for a walk in the nearby woods where I walked among the trees and on the paths. The ground was muddy and wet and squelching under my boots.

After lunch in the afternoon I performed some more tasks and duties before calling it a day when the sun went down and the sky became dark outside…

Over to you. 🙂

Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 8: Precision

In a bus of the S line, 10 m long, 3 wide, 6 high, at 3.6 km from its starting point, loaded with 48 people, at 12.17 p.m., a person of the masculine sex aged 27 years, 3 months and 8 days, 1.72, weighing 65 kg and wearing a hat 35 cm in height, round the crown of which was a ribbon 60 cm long, addressed a man aged 48 years, 4 months and 3 days, 1.68 m tall and weighing 77 kg by means of 14 words whose enunciation lasted 5 seconds and which alluded to some involuntary displacement of 15 to 20 mm. Then he went and sat down about 1.1 m away.

57 minutes later he was 10 metres away from the suburban entrance to the Gare Saint-Lazare and was walking up and down over a distance of 30 m with a friend aged 28, 1.7 m tall and weighing 71 kg, who advised him in 15 words to move a button, 3 cm in diameter, by 5 cm in the direction of the zenith.

(Precision from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

And here’s my effort:

Thursday, 12 November 2020

I got up at exactly 8:00 am GMT in the morning and it took me precisely 9 minutes and 17 seconds to make and drink my tea; my mug holds 200 ml of liquid. I poured the boiling water exactly to the level of the top of the roof of the London bus that decorates the inside of the mug.

There were seven different tasks to get through today, no less, no more. I worked at them diligently all day, paying great attention to even the most minute detail. My GP called me at 11:52; our conversation lasted 7 minutes and 14 seconds. Apart from this, I interrupted my work exactly twice: once at 1:00 pm to take lunch (one frankfurter, fried, plus a half a slice of thin home made white bread, no mustard or other condiments) and for the second time at 3:45 pm, when the doorbell rang. Answered the door in ten seconds flat as I was standing only two metres away at the time. It was a young male male under 30 years old, wearing a blue hoody and faded jeans who delivered a parcel, addressed to Mr Anglo-Saxonist, very light in weight. We exchanged no words, other than me saying “Thank you” to him.

Over to you. 🙂

Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 7: You Know

Well, you know, the bus arrived, so you know, I got on. Then I saw, you know, a citizen, who, you know, caught my eye, sort of. I mean, you know, I saw his long neck and I saw the plait round his hat. Then, you know, he started to rave at the chap next to him. He was, you know, treading on his toes. Then he went and, you know, sat down.

Well, you know, later on, I saw him in the Cour de Rome. He was with a pal, you know, and he was telling him, you know, the pal was: “You ought to get another button put on your coat.” You know.

(You Know from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Well, here’s my effort:

Wednesday, 11 November 2020

Well, I got up in the morning, like you do, you know, and had my morning cuppa. Young Friend of the Elephants pushed off to school, then I, you know, I had to do some work, it was sort of boring, you know, so I played a bit with my Pomodoro app… 

I had lunch, but had no appetite, you know, because, I mean, who likes to eat alone? You know?

And then nothing happened in the afternoon either, you know, it was one of those boring days, you know what I mean… this whole coronavirus stuff simply sucks, you know, man.

Over to you. 🙂

Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

 

Lockdown Diaries II, Day 6: With Raymond Queneau

I skipped day 5 of the lockdown diary yesterday, because I spent the day with a friend – owing to my circumstances people are allowed to visit me even in lockdown, now there’s a new turn up for the books! – and there was the weekly quote anyway for you to read. 

Nothing else happened. And today didn’t happen anything much either.

The fact that generally speaking even less is happening in this lockdown than in the last one, however, made me muse on the subject of how many times can you write the same thing over and over again without boring your readers to tears.

Well, Raymond Queneau in his Exercises in Style managed to do it a whopping ninety-nine times. (I don’t think I’ve got his talent.)

I first read his book in Hungarian when I was in grammar school – I first read everything in grammar school – and I found it highly entertaining. Decades later I’ve got myself an English copy, and I still find it highly entertaining. The only thing that baffles me is that Mr Anglo-Saxonist, into whose style of reading this kind of smart-arsery really fits, was never willing to read it. But there. You can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink… 

With that I’m handing you over to Raymond Queneau:

On the S bus, in the rush hour. A chap of about twenty-six, soft hat with a cord instead of a ribbon, neck too long, as if someone’s been tugging at it. People getting off. The chap in question gets annoyed with one of the man standing next to him. He accuses him of jostling him every time he goes past. A snivelling tone which is meant to be aggressive. When he sees a vacant seat, he throws himself onto it.

Two hours later, I come across him in the Cour de Rome, in front of the Gare Saint-Lazare. He’s with a friend, who’s saying: “You ought to get an extra button put on your overcoat.” He shows him where (at the lapels) and why.

(Notation, from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)

Now if you think that the above excerpt is particularly boring, it’s because it is particularly boring.

Notation is the retelling of an incident, wholly devoid of interest to anybody, and in as bland a manner as possible, so that afterwards Queneau can have some fun in the rest of the book rewriting it in various styles. In ninety-nine different styles, as I said above.

A Writing Challenge – For Anybody Who Is Interested

Well, we’ve got nothing better to do, since we’re all in lockdown and there’s nothing really happening… so why don’t you write up what happened today, in a simple and matter of fact way, and then start experimenting? 🙂 

I’m going to provide you with my boring entry for today… and tomorrow (when I expect nothing more interesting to happen than today), I’ll look for inspiration in Queneau and give you an attempt at describing the big nothing, imitating one of his style variations. If you want to take up the challenge, post a reply in the comments, keeping to the same style. We’ll see how far we’ll get with this. 🙂

Tuesday, 10 November 2020

Got up in the morning and went through the usual morning routine: cup of tea, shower, breakfast. Saw Young Friend of the Elephants off to school, then worked on the computer all morning. I experimented with a Pomodoro timer app as I keep forgetting to take breaks; it would have been great if the app actually worked as advertised.

Took my lunch to eat outside in the garden, as the weather was reasonably mild and there was some weak sunshine.

Worked some more on the computer in the afternoon, including on the blog, adding another map to the History of Hungary in a Dozen Maps, maybe I even finish it before the year ends? Only been at it for months.

Over to you. 🙂

Recommended reading:
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau