In a bus of the S line, 10 m long, 3 wide, 6 high, at 3.6 km from its starting point, loaded with 48 people, at 12.17 p.m., a person of the masculine sex aged 27 years, 3 months and 8 days, 1.72, weighing 65 kg and wearing a hat 35 cm in height, round the crown of which was a ribbon 60 cm long, addressed a man aged 48 years, 4 months and 3 days, 1.68 m tall and weighing 77 kg by means of 14 words whose enunciation lasted 5 seconds and which alluded to some involuntary displacement of 15 to 20 mm. Then he went and sat down about 1.1 m away.
57 minutes later he was 10 metres away from the suburban entrance to the Gare Saint-Lazare and was walking up and down over a distance of 30 m with a friend aged 28, 1.7 m tall and weighing 71 kg, who advised him in 15 words to move a button, 3 cm in diameter, by 5 cm in the direction of the zenith.
(Precision from Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau)
And here’s my effort:
Thursday, 12 November 2020
I got up at exactly 8:00 am GMT in the morning and it took me precisely 9 minutes and 17 seconds to make and drink my tea; my mug holds 200 ml of liquid. I poured the boiling water exactly to the level of the top of the roof of the London bus that decorates the inside of the mug.
There were seven different tasks to get through today, no less, no more. I worked at them diligently all day, paying great attention to even the most minute detail. My GP called me at 11:52; our conversation lasted 7 minutes and 14 seconds. Apart from this, I interrupted my work exactly twice: once at 1:00 pm to take lunch (one frankfurter, fried, plus a half a slice of thin home made white bread, no mustard or other condiments) and for the second time at 3:45 pm, when the doorbell rang. Answered the door in ten seconds flat as I was standing only two metres away at the time. It was a young male male under 30 years old, wearing a blue hoody and faded jeans who delivered a parcel, addressed to Mr Anglo-Saxonist, very light in weight. We exchanged no words, other than me saying “Thank you” to him.
Over to you. 🙂
⇒ Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau