Wet Book Rescue

Note: The methods described below are not simply for rescuing a book that you spilled a drop of Colombian coffee or half a glass of red wine on. They are for rescuing a properly dripping wet book, after you fished it out of the bath tub and finished cursing. If you’re only a half-hearted book wetter, then I refer you to the prosaic Wiki-How guide for dummies.

I. The Pleasant Method

Step 1. Find a sunny spot (I recognise this might be difficult in certain locations. If you’re a member of the British Antarctic Survey, I advise you to urgently acquire an acquaintance in Spain.)

Step 2. Open the book and put it down in the sun.

Step 3. Serve yourself a Pimm’s, get your second most favourite book and settle down. You’ll be there all afternoon.

Step 4. Enjoy your book and your Pimm’s. Turn the pages as they dry.

Step 5. Come back tomorrow and carry on.

II. The London Winter Method

Step 1. Put the open book on the radiator so that it dangles down on both sides of it.

Step 2. When the pages seem reasonably dry, open it somewhere else where it’s wetter and repeat until dry.

III. The Shock-Horror Method

Step 1. Put the book in the sun or on the radiator.

Step 2. Stop and consider for a moment.

Step 3. Realise that a book that you dropped into the bath tub will never be the same again. Give up or carry on, depending on temperament and wallet.